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| Pictured: Government officials maintaining absolute silence while surrounded by $28 million in missing pension checks and a mountain of unanswered questions. |
Welcome back, taxpayers! Grab a front-row seat for the latest hit reality show sweeping the territory: "Look Who’s NOT Talking!" — a dramatic saga starring the American Samoa Government, $28 million in missing retirement contributions, and an administration that seems to have suddenly lost its voice.
During a recent House Retirement Committee hearing, lawmakers tried to ask some pretty basic questions about the $28 million ASG, LBJ Hospital, and ASCC owe to the government employee pension fund. But when it comes to actual answers or accountability? Crickets. Absolute, serene radio silence.
Let’s review the highlights of this quiet masterpiece:
1. "We Took Your Money, Now Please Stop Talking About It"
The most fascinating part of this saga? ASG has been faithfully deducting the 6% retirement contribution right out of government workers' paychecks. But instead of passing that money along to the Retirement Fund, ASG apparently placed it into a mystical void. When lawmakers asked, "Wait, if you took it from their checks, where is it?" the answer was a shrug and a whisper about "cash flow problems."
2. The Magic 50% Off Discount Coupon
So, how does the administration plan to solve a massive $28 million debt? By paying it off? Don't be ridiculous! Instead, they introduced a bill to retroactively cut the required employer contribution from 14% down to 8%. When asked if this retroactive discount meant millions in unpaid debt would just magically vanish into thin air, Retirement Fund Attorney Mitzie Jessop Taase gave the line of the year: "I think we know the answer to that."
Translation: Look who’s NOT talking about where that money went, because we all know it’s never coming back.
3. The Off-Island Silence Tour
While retirees are sitting at home getting zero Cost of Living Adjustments (COLA) because the fund is bleeding $500,000 a month to pay out basic pensions, board members are still somehow managing to hold official Retirement Fund meetings... off-island! Because if you're going to avoid talking about a $28 million hole in the budget, you might as well do it in a nice hotel with room service.
4. The "Not My Job" Finger-Pointing Loop
The Retirement Board: "We keep reminding the Governor's office about the debt, but they won't make a decision."
The Treasury: "We told everyone back in April to stop spending money, but nobody listened."
The Administration: 🤫 (Look who's not talking!)
The Takeaway: If you ever owe someone money, just follow the ASG playbook: stop answering questions, propose a retroactive law that says you actually owed 50% less all along, and fly off-island for a board meeting. Works every time!