From University Apex to Alleyway Brawls: Why Are Students Throwing Steel Bottles?

By KaKi

So, the National University of Samoa—the literal pinnacle of higher education in the country—recently decided to host a special assembly for over 4,000 students.

Was it to celebrate groundbreaking research? To hand out shiny trophies?

Of course not. It was because a group of bright, young academic minds decided that the best way to spend their university years was staging a violent campus brawl, complete with flying glass bottles and a side of assault.

Nothing screams "future leaders of tomorrow" quite like getting arrested for disorderly conduct because you brought your old high school turf wars to the campus foyer. Truly, a masterpiece of adult decision-making.

The Prime Minister Had Thoughts

Prime Minister Laaulialemalietoa Polataivao Leuatea Schmidt packed up his entire Cabinet, grabbed the police, and went down to the gym to have a little chat with everyone. And by "chat," we mean a proper, old-school cultural dressing-down.

The PM pointed out that the university started back in 1984 with just 42 students, and has since grown into an institution housing over 4,000 minds. His point? Millions of tala are invested so students can study, not so they can reenact a medieval siege with steel water bottles.

He even dropped a classic piece of cultural wisdom: A Samoan boy or girl are nurtured with words while those of birds are fed with flower nectar. Translation: You were raised with actual communication and values, so why are you out here acting like wild animals?

Let’s Talk About Personal Choice

Here is the thing: it’s easy to point fingers at the school, the system, or the government. But at the end of the day, getting a university education is a personal privilege.

Nobody accidentally trips, falls, and wakes up facing criminal charges for causing injury. That takes a series of active, highly questionable individual choices. Carrying petty high school "beefs" into the highest institution of learning in the country isn't a systemic failure—it's just a personal choice to throw away your future over some pure, unadulterated nonsense.

As the university's vice-chancellor politely reminded everyone, students are bound by a code of conduct. Registering for classes doesn't mean you get a free pass to do whatever you want.

Choose Peace (Or At Least Common Sense)

Some students interviewed after the assembly called it a much-needed wake-up call, admitting they were terrified for those who got caught or might try to seek "revenge". And honestly? Fair. If your family worked their fingers to the bone to get you to the university level, getting expelled and slapped with a police record because you wanted to play tough guy is a pretty fast track to living out your days in deep regret.

So what's it going to be, folks? Are we going to use our brains for what they were actually built for, or are we going to keep treating campus grounds like a low-budget action movie?

The choice is entirely yours. Drop your thoughts in the comments below—just maybe leave the steel water bottles at home.

Source: Samoa News

Is English a "Predator Language"? Or Just Really Good at Eating Everything?

By KaKi

So, New Zealand just passed an "English Language Bill." You know, because in the vast, confusing landscape of modern politics, what we really needed was to make sure everyone knows that English—the language currently used to run the entire government, business sector, and internet—is actually, officially, English.

Groundbreaking stuff, guys. Truly.

The bill is a whopping two pages long, which is basically the legislative equivalent of saying, "Just in case you didn't notice that we speak English here, here is a piece of paper telling you we speak English here."

Naturally, the internet did what it does best: it caught fire. New Zealand Green MP Tamatha Paul called the people pushing for this a "bunch of snowflakes," which is a fun bit of irony considering the bill was designed to protect a language that has never once felt threatened in its life.

But then, enter Dr. Julie Barbour, a linguist who decided to spice things up by calling English a "predator language."

The Big Hungry Language

Dr. Barbour’s argument is that English isn’t just a language; it’s a globe-trotting conqueror that moves into new neighborhoods, eats the local languages, and then leaves behind a bunch of loanwords as a souvenir.

"It’s only been around for 1500 years," she notes, pointing out that English is essentially a Germanic mash-up that arrived in England after the Romans left and never really stopped traveling. It’s the language equivalent of that one friend who shows up to your potluck, eats all your food, and then tells you your house would look better if you moved the furniture around.

The argument is that while early settlers in New Zealand were perfectly happy to learn Māori when they needed a hand with the local plants and birds, they eventually decided that one language was plenty—provided that language was their own.

The "Bizarre" Bill

Dr. Barbour thinks the whole bill is "utterly bizarre." She points out that English already dominates everything, so giving it "official" status is like passing a law to make sure water is wet. It’s an unnecessary flex that ignores the languages (like te reo Māori or NZ Sign Language) that might actually, you know, need a bit of a safety net.

But hey, the politicians say it’s for the "hard-working Kiwi battlers." Because nothing says "I’m looking out for the common person" quite like passing a law that changes absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile, in American Samoa...

While New Zealand is busy declaring that the sky is blue, our friends over in American Samoa took a slightly different path. Back in 2022, they signed the Samoan Language Commission Bill. Instead of just protecting the language that everyone already speaks, they decided to make both Samoan and English official—a move aimed at actually keeping the fa'asamoa (the Samoan way of life) on the map.

You Decide

Is English a terrifying, predatory linguistic shark that’s been chewing up indigenous cultures for centuries? Or is it just a language that’s really good at adapting and winning the popularity contest?

Is the New Zealand bill a necessary bit of "clarity," or is it just a performative nap for the insecure?

I’m just the messenger, folks. I’m just here to watch the debate unfold while I eat my popcorn. Let me know what you think in the comments—but keep it in English, because, well, apparently it’s important.

Source: Samoa News

 

 

 

Oh No, They’re Taking My Shirt Too!! ASPA Warns of Yet Another Power Hike

By Kaki

Originally reported by Talanei (July 24, 2026)

Just when you thought your wallet was safely tucked away in your pocket, reality drops a polite little reminder that living in paradise means paying absolute premium prices to keep your lights on.

According to a recent update from the American Samoa Power Authority (ASPA)—courtesy of Chief Operating Officer Ryan Tuato’o—residents better brace themselves for another electricity surge next month.

Yes, you read that right. While there was a brief, microscopic drop in fuel prices under the latest Maximum Allowable Price, global oil markets apparently decided they weren't finished ruining our budgets yet. The price of a barrel of fuel bounced right back up, which means ASPA’s rates are about to follow suit. At a current punishing rate hovering around 55 cents per kilowatt-hour, you half expect the next utility bill to come with a formal demand for your car keys and your firstborn child.

"Have You Tried Just Sitting in the Dark?"

Faced with rates that make turning on a ceiling fan feel like a luxury financial investment, what is the brilliant solution handed down from on high?

“Customers should conserve electricity to help keep their utility bills down.”

Oh, brilliant! Why didn’t we think of that? Let's just all sit completely motionless in a dark, sweltering room, unplug our refrigerators, and live like 18th-century hermits so we can afford to pay for electricity next month. Genius.

Who do they think they are—magicians spinning gold out of thin air? Between the rising cost of fuel, grocery prices, and power bills that routinely give homeowners minor heart palpitations, it's getting to the point where opening your monthly power bill feels like someone literally reaching into your closet and yelling, "Oh no, they’re taking my shirt too!!"

The Endless Cycle

It's a familiar script: fuel prices go up, power rates spike. Fuel prices dip for five minutes, power rates stay high. Then, fuel prices creep back up, and ASPA comes back with another friendly neighborhood warning to turn off your lightbulbs and sweat it out in the dark.

If keeping cool in American Samoa ever becomes an official Olympic sport, at least we'll all be well-trained by our monthly utility bills. Until then, remember to unplug your toaster, turn off the living room lights, and prepare to hand over whatever spare change you have left to the power grid.

How high does the electricity rate have to go before we all start charging our phones at the neighbor's house? Drop your sarcastic survival tips in the comments below.

 

Move Over, Poseidon: Why Deep-Sea Mining Proves Humanity Thinks It’s Actually God

By Kaki

Let’s be completely honest for a second. If you gave humanity a pristine, perfectly balanced, life-sustaining planet, what’s the very first thing we would try to do?

Naturally, we’d look at the deepest, darkest, least-explored corners of the ocean—places we know less about than the surface of the moon—and say, "You know what this needs? Heavy machinery, toxic sludge, and corporate greed."

Enter the Congregational Christian Church of American Samoa (CCCAS). On the final day of their 36th General Assembly at Kananafou, over 600 delegates from more than 120 congregations looked at the modern corporate playbook of playing divine architect and basically said: Who do you think you are, God?!

In a landmark resolution, the church officially drew a giant, holy line in the sand (or rather, the seabed) opposing deep-sea mining (DSM) in and around our territorial waters.

Because Apparently, We’ve Trashed the Land Enough

For generations, humanity has treated the dry land like an open-air garbage disposal. We’ve paved over paradise, polluted the air, and generally proved we can’t be trusted to clean up after ourselves. So, logically, our brilliant next step is to head a few thousand meters underwater to ruin the parts of the planet we haven't touched yet.

Bravo, truly. Nothing screams "responsible stewardship" quite like dragging industrial excavators across fragile, ancient deep-sea ecosystems just to chase shiny minerals.

Thankfully, the CCCAS resolution laid out five very reasonable, common-sense pillars that point out the obvious:

1. Creation belongs to God, not your startup portfolio: Turns out, humanity didn't invent the ocean, so maybe we shouldn't get to sell it off for parts.

2. Ecological catastrophe is a bad career move: Destroying marine biodiversity and deep-sea life for a quick buck might look good on an executive's quarterly spreadsheet, but it’s a disaster for everyone else.

3. "We don't know what will happen" isn't a safety plan: Shockingly, dropping giant metal monsters into pristine deep-sea habitats comes with risks we don't fully understand. Who could have possibly guessed?

4. Environmental and Intergenerational Justice: Stealing a healthy ocean from our kids and grandkids so a few conglomerates can cash out today is peak selfishness.

A Polite Request to Stop Playing Creator

The resolution didn’t just issue a stern look from the pews; it sent direct, no-nonsense messages straight to the American Samoa Government and the U.S. federal bureaucracy (looking at you, Department of the Interior and BOEM).

The message is simple: Stop handing out permits to play mad scientist with our ocean. Until independent, peer-reviewed science actually proves that scraping the ocean floor won't turn our backyard into an apocalyptic wasteland, keep your giant underwater vacuum cleaners away.

It takes a special kind of arrogant delusion to look at the vast, life-giving blue expanse of the Pacific—our history, our food source, our entire identity—and think, "Yeah, I bet there are some batteries down there I can dig up."

Thank goodness the church decided to remind everyone of the hierarchy. God made the oceans; we live in them. Let’s keep it that way before we accidentally wake up a Cthulhu-level nightmare just because some executive wanted a slightly shinier yacht.

What do you think? Are corporations suffering from a severe case of "God complex," or should we just hand the keys to the earth over to the deep-sea miners? Drop your sarcastic (or serious) comments below.

 

Fifty-Two Years of Service: Roy JD Hall Jr. Confirmed Unanimously as Administrative Law Judge

By Kaki

Originally reported by Talanei (July 27, 2026)

In American Samoa, a career spanning over half a century in the legal profession is a remarkable milestone. This week, that dedication was officially recognized by the highest legislative levels in the territory.

On Monday, July 27, 2026, prominent senior attorney Roy JD Hall Jr. received a ringing endorsement from the Fono, winning a unanimous vote of 17–0 in the Senate to be confirmed as the territory’s new Administrative Law Judge. He steps into the role as the fourth person to hold this important position.

A Storied 52-Year Legal Career

During his confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Hall reflected on a remarkable journey that has shaped the territory’s legal and political landscape for 52 years. His extensive resume reads like a roadmap of public and private service in American Samoa:

• Executive Leadership: Served four years as Deputy Attorney General.

• Legislative Service: Elected to a two-term tenure as a member of the House of Representatives.

• Judiciary & Public Boards: Held roles including District Court Judge Pro Tempore and leadership positions on the boards of the American Samoa Visitors Bureau and ASTCA.

Facing the Senate, Hall expressed deep appreciation to Governor Pulaaliʻi Nikolao Pula for the nomination. He took a moment to honor his roots, acknowledging his late parents—his father, a retired U.S. Navy veteran, and his mother from Vaitogi—alongside his wife and children who have stood by him through decades of rigorous legal practice.

Unanimous Praise from the Senate

The confirmation was met with universal respect from senators, who highlighted Hall’s depth of experience, balanced temperament, and unwavering integrity.

Senate President Tuaolo Manaia Fruean lauded Hall's qualifications and even hinted at potential future collaborative advisory roles between the new judge and the Senate. Other senators used the floor to offer words of wisdom, emphasizing the importance of staying grounded in the community and maintaining fairness and equity on the bench.

A Fitting Next Chapter

For a man who has spent more than fifty years drafting laws, representing clients, guiding public corporations, and serving in both the executive and legislative branches, stepping into the role of Administrative Law Judge feels like a natural culmination.

It is rare to see a public servant give a lifetime of continuous work to their home territory. Congratulations to Roy JD Hall Jr. on his unanimous confirmation, and we wish him the absolute best in this vital new chapter of service to American Samoa.

What are your thoughts on this appointment? Leave a comment below and join the discussion.